But, Dad Said...

With Mommy back in town things are quickly getting back to normal. She had a quick (three day) business trip. Aside from Baby having a lot of trouble falling asleep on the first night, things went rather smoothly.

On Friday a friend came over for dinner. He’s a great guy and a close friend, but man he has bad baby etiquette. He’s in his early thirties and childless, so I don’t really blame him for not knowing what things are considered inappropriate. After all, I too have made a few baby gaffes in my day. I guess it’s one of those things you don’t understand until you have a baby.

He has been a multiple offender since the baby was born. He came to visit on day 8 and was constantly touching her nose and face, and getting right up in her grill as he talked to her. It made me so uncomfortable that I finally just grabbed her away from him. He also seemed to think that it was cool to bring up everything under the sun about Mommy’s lactation situation. “Has she been leaking much?” DUDE! Beyond inappropriate. We didn’t talk about my wife’s tits before, and we sure as fuck are not going to start now.

The most recent offense was such an obvious one that (even pre-baby) I knew it was a no no. As we sat watching the baby he said, “Man, she’s got a really big head!” I gave him a scowl and tried to move past it, but again, “like, it’s really big!” I gathered myself a bit, then said, “Actually, that’s something the doctors measure every check up, and she is in the 50th percentile for head size. So, no, she doesnt have a big head, she has an average head.” Granted it is sort of hairless and oddly shaped… “But it ain’t too god damn buku!”