But, Dad Said...

My recent struggle with being a stay at home parent is hard to describe. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling. The best I can do, would be to say, I feel like I’m being sucked into the mindset of a baby; hand to mouth, hyper-receptive, impulsive. It’s not that I act, or react in a like manner, I’m still a responsible adult/father, but I feel how she feels, and lives. It almost hurts, like nails on a chalkboard or squeaking styrofoam. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, It’s my job to monitor the baby, to interact with her, to teach her, to entertain her. With all that, it’s hard not to get sucked in.

As many of you know, I have been struggling with my stints of solo-parenting. Mommy has a great job, but it means she travels a lot, leaving me alone with the baby. Until recently my mindset has been “just get through this.” Last Friday I had an epiphany, This is my life! As much as I wish I had the better job, and Mommy could be the stay at home parent, it’s just not our situation.

Today is not an obstacle blocking Friday. Today is another chance to live, laugh, grow, and play with my beautiful daughter. Heck, we may even go get a burrito.

My phone bit it last night, so today I took a trip to the mall with Baby. I’m still kind of awkward in public with her. I was rocking the front facing Bjorn carry made famous by Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover. It’s hard being this good looking AND having such a cute baby. I try not to make eye contact, as that would just seem boastful. When I pass people and they say, “Oh! Look! Cute baby!” It almost makes me flinch like they’re going to hit me.

After getting my phone fixed I did something I haven’t done it over ten years, I got a Cinnabon! And, Yes! They’re as good as you remember.

We’re watching cartoons all day.

When Mommy got pregnant I knew the first six month were going to be really hard. Not just because raising an infant is hard, but because the first six months would be during winter. Today there is over a foot of snow everywhere, with more expected to fall. Mommy is working and Baby and I are really bored. Coming up with activities for us to do has been tough in the last couple months. For starters, she’s a baby, and I know little about that. Second, she’s a baby, and she knows little about anything. Quite the team.

So far, the normal awake session goes something like this: Bottle, Exersaucer, diaper change, funny faces, singing, solid feeding, sit ups, push ups, squats, more funny faces, play on the floor, book, nap. Rinse and repeat. It’s beginning to get old. On nice days we take a walk, and I may today even though it’s not so nice. Some days we have people over or go visit people at their house. It’s odd how there’s not enough hours in the day to do stuff I need to do, and too many hours to have to occupy the baby.

So Tumblr, I need some suggestions. What do you do with a five month old in the middle of winter?

The Exersaucer may as well come with a roll of toliet paper and a six month old issue of Marie Claire.

Ok, I have a confession to make. I’m a little jealous of the breezy, gigglly banter shared by Mommy and Baby. My wife is awesome, but comedy is not quite her forte. That’s not to say she’s not funny, she can bust me up on the regular. She is, however, that person that will try to tell a joke and just before the punchline say, “No wait,” and then laugh to her self and start over. That in its self always makes me laugh. But for some reason she knows just how to make the baby laugh, while I may as well be Fozzy Bear.

We have a sort of unspoken agreement that I will get up in the night and Mommy will wake up with the baby in the morning. She feeds, plays with and bathes her, then puts her down for a short morning nap. I take over after the nap while Mommy showers.

This morning, Baby woke up from her nap so I went and got her, as Mommy was in the shower. Baby is always in good spirits when she wakes up and smiles so big for Daddy. I tried a few things to try and get a laugh or two out of her… No luck. So, I pick her up, change her and head for the living room. Mommy is in the bathroom doing her hair and make-up. Just as we pass the open door, Baby catches a glimpse of Mommy and immediately starts to crack up!

Damn kid, throw me a bone over here.

Is it called 4 month wakeful because it happens at four months, or because it lasts four months? Or both? Because she’s five months now, and if this lasts much longer I may take her back. Where the fuck is that receipt?